A new start
by nelgoesboom
Summary: Infernal Devices AU, Wessa ship. Modern-day London Tessa lives with Nate and starts college, where she meets a boy who changes her perspective on life. Rating for later lemons. First fanfic, please R&R - I need suggestions as to whether I should continue it.
1. Chapter 1

Tessa sighed and snapped closed the eighteenth book she'd found unsatisfactory in the last half hour. She knew she ought to get home as Nate would be back soon, expecting dinner after a long day, but she couldn't decide on a book, nor bear to purchase anything less than the promise of a fantastic new world to enter. Tessa loved re-reading her favourite stories, but having only managed to bring with her from New York a small collection of them, she needed something a little different to stimulate her brain. Glancing at her watch, she picked up two of the better-sounding options and made a quick decision between them. Normally, Tessa would simply leave the store until new stock meant a choice she was happier with, but Nate had managed to scrounge a few extra quid for them this week and wanted Tessa to have a new book with it although, she knew, it would go farther put to more practical uses.  
She bought the book and hurried home to the cramped apartment she and Nate were renting where she forced the cronky oven onto full power and placed a stale pie onto the highest shelf. She had just decided she ought to make a start on dusting - the dirt seemed to gather so much more rapidly in this musty city of London than it had in the home she had known and loved - when she heard a key rattling in the lock and a minute (and a few choice words that would have made Aunt Harriet shriek) later, Nate came barging into the kitchen. Her elder brother had blond hair and blue eyes and the sort of looks that made adults think he could do no wrong, and made girls think he must be a wealthy businessman in want of a wife. In truth he was just a kind-hearted but simple boy who needed someone to take care of him. Tessa was happy to do the job, needing to know Nate was safe, yet some part of her yearned for adventure, independence, no matter how hard she tried to smother it. She hoped he would meet a nice girl to take over the role, with whom he could be happy, and find a job that interested him - and perhaps that paid a little more.  
Nate came through to the living room and gave his sister a weary but warm smile. Tessa felt some of the ball of worry inside her ease as she saw him home safe - he truly hated his job, and found his boss a very sinister character. "Hey, Tessie." he murmured, pulling her into an embrace. She put her arms around his waist and sniffed in his scent; partly because the familiarity comforted her, but also because recently he'd begun to arrive home smelling of alcohol. Sure enough, it looked like Nate hadn't come straight home after all - spending time at the pub wasn't a crime, it even made Nate's stresses lesser, but when money was so tight, Tessa could hardly believe he would do that. Not that this was any moment to start lecturing him on it, having just splurged on a new novel herself. Instead, she forced a smile onto her face and talked animatedly about the book until the oven's ding meant that dinner was ready. Nate complained about how stale the pie was and Tessa had to fight very hard not to point out that they would be able to afford in-date food if he wasn't pissing away his earnings at the bar each day. Instead she simply apologised and asked him how his day had been.  
"Horrendous." he told her, mid-bite. "Mortmain made us work on designs for coffee filters. Coffee filters!" Nate's job involved designing twiddly bits on kitchenware which Tessa didn't understand. Sometimes he would come home and consider his day's work beneath him, and apparently his new project made today one of those days. "I'm sorry, Nate. Soon I'll be through college and when we're both working it'll be easier. You'll find a better job soon, anyway." she soothed. Nate didn't appear to be paying much attention, so Tessa abandoned the attempt and began to clear the plates. The evening routine was that Tessa would wash up and Nate would kick back and watch crappy TV - neither of them knew anyone in the city, and besides they didn't really have the money to go out much. "I'm going to sort my things out for tomorrow, and then get an early night. Don't stay up too long." She kissed her brother's forehead and retreated to her room, carefully packing the school stationery she'd acquired into a bag. She was worried that it wouldn't be enough; she had only the essentials as she hadn't wanted to buy anything and have it turn out that it wasn't necessary. She switched off the light and crawled into bed, beginning to envisage what college here in London would be like. She knew she may be an outsider because of her unfamiliarity with the customs of her new home, as well as her reserved disposition. She had made friends in America at school, but no relationship had been one she'd been particularly upset about saying goodbye to. She'd decided to make a real effort to fit in; after all she didn't want to go through college with half-arsed friendships.


	2. Chapter 2

Tessa awoke to a sharp ringing next to her ear. She practically punched the alarm clock as she groggily grasped for the day of the week. The realisations soon hit her both that this was her first day of college, and that she had slept through her alarm – set nice and early to allow plenty of time to mentally prepare herself. She quickly grabbed her keys and purse and shoved some jeans and a shirt on off the floor. She was disgusted with herself that she was going to stink on her first day, but better than being late. She grabbed a breakfast biscuit from the kitchen and slung her bag over her shoulder, peeking into Nate's room – he was snoring soundly, bless him – before heading out the door. She pummelled down the stairs and into the street, cursing herself when she realised she didn't know where she was going. She sprinted off down the street – great, that'd help with the smell issue – in the general direction of the college, her long, dark plait, which she'd had no time to re-do after sleeping on, banging against her back and she had to resist the urge to sweep it over her shoulder into its ordinary position. Wishing she'd thought to glance at a map, she hurtled down the street, stopping short when a huge river lay ahead. "That's it!" she yelled aloud, startling a nearby child. She had that google maps thing on her phone. Barely processing the fact that this was her first view of the iconic Thames, she had virtually turned her bag out onto the pavement when she finally admitted defeat; acknowledging that she must have left her phone on her desk in her hurry to get out of the door. Knowing she wasn't to cross the river but not which way to go now, she saw no alternative than asking for directions. Tessa swallowed her nerves and picked out the friendliest face she saw among the commuters. A man who looked young but for his silver-grey hair was leaning on the railings near to Tessa on the bridge; "Blackfriars Bridge" she read. She approached him and realised he was wearing earphones and had his eyes closed; involved in the music. She began to back off, not wanting to disturb his peaceful moment, but just then his eyes snapped open. Tessa was shocked to see that they were silver as his hair, but she found the combination along with his Asian complexion rather beautiful. "I'm so sorry" he said, tugging his earphones out. He spoke in a strange accent that Tessa didn't recognise."Can I help?"  
"Sorry to disturb you, it's just I am in a bit of a hurry – you wouldn't happen to know where the, uh, school of Economic and political science is, would you?"  
He grinned. "As a matter of fact, my best friend goes there. Come on, it's just around the corner."  
He strode off, leaving Tessa to hurry behind. "Simply directions will do, I wouldn't want to inconvenience you!"  
"Not at all. You look like you're in a hurry, and I know a lot of shortcuts."  
"Oh. Well, thank you."  
"Any time. I'm Jem, by the way."  
He stretched a hand out towards her, which she shook with great difficulty considering their pace. "Tessa."  
"Tessa." He repeated, and she blushed. The way he said it made her feel as though he were saying something vastly inappropriate. She dismissed the thought.  
"So, what are you studying?"  
"English Literature and Society."  
"That's a coincidence; so is Will. First year?" He responded, surprised.  
She nodded. "Will?" "My friend."  
"Oh, yes"  
"Well, I shall have to introduce you. Although, I must warn you – he's somewhat of a lady killer." Jem winked.  
"I think I'll manage to resist" She laughed.  
"Where in America are you from?" he asked after a pause.  
"New York."  
"Wow. And when did you move here?"  
"Three weeks ago."  
"Oh, so you don't know many people yet?"  
"I don't know anyone!"  
"I'll show you around sometime when you're not in such a rush, if you'd like?"  
"That's very kind of you, thank you." She smiled softly. "Jem."  
He smiled back, and it gave Tessa a warm feeling she could not explain. "Why did you move here?" She looked down. "I'm sorry, that was nosy. You don't need to tell me – we just met, after all."  
But something about this boy made Tessa feel safe. "No, it's okay. My – my brother, Nate and I were raised by our Aunt Harriet, and she died a few months ago. Nate had to get a job, and decided there was more opportunity here in his area. So, we came here together."  
"I'm sorry." Jem said, brow furrowed. And he sounded like he genuinely meant it. "I grew up without my parents, too. But to lose someone else, a parent figure at that..." he shook his head. "Here we are."  
Tessa had been so involved in her conversation with the boy she had foolishly not paid a bit of attention to where they were walking. She suddenly recalled how late she was. "Thank you so much, Jem. It was great meeting you!" She called as she headed towards the campus.  
"You too, Tessa. See you later." He turned and walked away, and for a moment Tessa could only stand and watch him. Then she reminded herself of where she was, and foraged the campus map, which she'd printed off at the library, out of her bag. Building three happened to be entirely the other side of the grounds and by the time she'd made it there, her watch told her it was ten past nine. She took a deep breath and opened the door to lecture hall 68.


	3. Chapter 3

Tessa eased open the door and was startled by how small the class was. She had expected rows upon rows of bleachers, hence for lateness to be very common, but what she saw instead were only roughly 30 faces staring _right at her. _"Er, sorry I'm late." She mumbled and slid into the back row where only one other girl was seated.  
"Hmmm." Said the lecturer. "Well, I'm glad you cared to join us.. eventually." Tessa flushed a deep red and stuck her head down, searching in her bag for a notepad and pencil.  
"We were just discussing the prescribed reading list, miss?"

"Grey, ma'am."

"Miss Gray. Would you care to share your thoughts? On, say, 1984?" She smiled up smugly, apparently wanting to fluster any latecomers further.

"Yes." Tessa tried to be firm. "I thought the novel was truly insightful, of course so ahead of its time and is now ringing true. I loved the way Orwell described writing, 'the act of writing itself is like time travel'. Remarkable. And I found the relationship between Winston and Julia fascinating. Their own separate ways of rebelling... It was emotional as well as haunting. I'm very glad to have read it."

"Yes. Well. You'd do better to be on time for my class in future, please."

Heads turned away from Tessa, apart from one, she noticed. A boy in the front row with the bluest eyes she had ever seen was frowning at her.

"MR HERONDALE. Eyes forward, if you'd be so kind."

He gave her a wink and turned away, which left her a little befuddled. Honestly, you wait your whole life for a handsome boy to wink at you, then two come along in a day.  
After class, Tessa had an hour before her next and no idea where to go. Were others in the same situation? Tessa didn't know if all the people who'd been in that room had the same classes as her or if some mixed and matched. She let the flow of the crowd carry her down the corridor and they emerged onto a green square with picnic tables. People seemed to section off into groups and grab a table; this was what Tessa had been worried about. Everyone already had their friends, and Tessa was nowhere near socially confident enough to infiltrate a group. She soon realised she was simply standing there awkwardly, and decided to stride off somewhere with purpose – although where, she wasn't sure. Then she spotted the blue-eyed boy watching her and although surrounded by a group of friends, decided to exercise her new bravery and approach him.

"Hello, I'm Tessa" she said, approaching him. "I'm new."

"Yes, I noticed." He said, his eyes twinkling. "You were late to Rogers' class on your first day!"

"Yes I, um, got rather lost." She mumbled, embarrassed.

"Well, London can have that effect on you. How long have you been here?"

"Three weeks."

The boy whistled through his teeth. "I'm Will, by the way. I liked how you quoted Orwell on the writing thing, I feel the same way about it. And reading."

Ordinarily Tessa would be excited at the prospect of meeting another book fanatic like herself, but the boy's name had triggered something in her memory.

"Will... Oh! Do you know Jem?!" she demanded excitedly.

"I- uh, yes. Do you?"

"He walked me to college because I was lost!" For some reason Will's expression seemed to darken at this.

"And he said to look out for you"

"He did?" Will looked up. His eyes really were enthralling.

"Yes, he..." Tessa blushed "He said to look out because you were a lady-killer"

Will laughed "Oh. Well, Tessa Gray, it seems to me that you are much too clever to fall for my charms and wiles. It was very nice to meet you, but I have another lecture now."

"As a matter of fact, Will Herondale, so do I"

"Of course, well I'm sure I'll see you there." And he walked away, leaving Tessa flabbergasted at how such a charming boy could be so rude, and with no idea how to get to her next class.


	4. Chapter 4

During class Tessa couldn't stop thinking about Will and how he'd rejected her offer of friendliness. She felt like a fool – she'd thought since he was a pal of Jem; so amiable and kind, he couldn't be so bad, but if it was true that he was a bit of a slut, Tessa should have known he wasn't going to be your classic gentleman. Her breath hitched as he raised his hand and answered a question – he had _such _a beautiful voice. _No. _Tessa scolded herself. Why was she having feelings for this boy, whom she'd had one conversation with, ending in her obvious dismissal?! She was clearly going insane. Tessa attempted to turn her attention to the matter at hand of taking notes to study from, but it was rather difficult seeing as_ he_ was seated three rows in front of her, now flirting blatantly with an attractive girl who Tessa immediately detested.

At the end of the day, Tessa was exhausted, and not really feeling up to a trek around London in search of home. As she was crossing campus to find the entrance she had come through that morning in hopes of recalling the vague route she had taken with Jem, she saw him sitting on one of the picnic benches, tapping away on his smartphone. Feeling a grin spread across her face, Tessa crossed over to him, sitting down next to him and earning a big smile despite the shock he'd received from the sudden appearance.

"Tessa!" He said. "You gave me a fright. How was your first day?"

Laughing at the British expression, she replied "It was really interesting, though exhausting, I was a little late to class this morning but it would have been so much worse if you hadn't helped me. Thank you, Jem."

Jem began to reply, but right at that moment Will was abruptly there, wearing a rather sullen expression.

"Oh, hey mate, have you met Tessa?" said Jem, turning his attention to his friend.

"Uh, yeah. We have all the same lectures." He said, looking at the floor.

Tessa didn't understand why he was acting so differently from the charismatic boy she'd been introduced to that morning. She supposed whatever had caused the abrupt change in his disposition earlier on was still troubling him. Although she had known the two boys were best friends, she still found it strange to see them together after meeting them separately. This was turning into a rather surreal day altogether.

"So, er- I should get home" said Tessa, wanting to end the awkward pause as well as the realisation that she ought to be getting on with dinner for Nate's return home.

"Oh, really? It's just, Will and I were going to head to the cinema if you wanted to join us?" Jem said hesitantly. Tessa looked away. She couldn't afford to go to the cinema. She'd had her worries that everyone else at college in London would be loaded. And they'd expect her to be as well. For they didn't know she'd only been accepted as part of a scheme to allow worse-off people a chance at a good education. And besides, if she wasn't home when Nate was, he'd get mad. Tessa had learnt to be cautious enough that it hadn't occurred often, but she knew that Nate, or at least a Nate with a couple of pints in him, could get scary. Really scary. The worst moment of Tessa's life after the deaths of her parents and her aunt had been the day when he had come stumbling in the door to their tiny New York apartment at some ungodly hour of the night, utterly off his face. Tessa and Aunt Harriet had waited up for him, worried sick. When her aunt had tried to question him about where he'd been and get him to drink some water, he'd become violent. He'd become loud. He'd become angry and terrifying and someone completely unalike the Nate whom Tessa knew and trusted. He was a different person when he had drunk too much and Tessa lived in constant fear of it happening. She had only cowered in a corner as he'd screamed into Aunt Harriet's face, until he had finally taken her by the throat and Tessa had to run over and grab his arm to get him away from her. She'd pulled with all her might and although weak, had found enough strength to get him off her aunt and instead turning on Tessa. "Stay out of this, Tessie!" He had screamed, and as the tears streamed down her face, she had begged him just to go to bed, assuring him that he wasn't himself; everything would be alright again if he just went to sleep. But even his love for his little sister couldn't stop Nate's alcohol-driven fury, and Tessa had to purchase foundation to cover her black eye in the days that followed. They never spoke about it again, but whenever he'd arrive home drunk, Tessa and her aunt would always feign sleep and not question him about it. Since her aunt had died, Tessa committed herself to making her brother remain the person who gave her tight hugs and who put his measly pay towards buying her the books he knew she'd love, the brother she knew he wanted to be; the _person _she knew he was. Tessa avoided alcohol generally, because the change in her brother scared her too much to comprehend. She stepped tentatively not only around alcohol, but simply anything that might send him back to that dark place; she knew, for instance, that he didn't like her to go out with friends often, because he worried about her so, and that she must always keep on top of the cleaning, as dirt in the house merely reminded him of their poor situation, and he felt such a strong guilt for not being able to provide for her more fully. Tessa pulled herself out of the memories, resisting a shudder, and grasped for an excuse that didn't involve any part of the truth that would most likely put these could-be friends off her completely, thinking she was some kind of destitute, miserly loser.

"Oh, I'd love to, but I ah- forgot my purse in my rush this morning, so.." she trailed off pathetically. Will glanced at her sideways, but Jem seemed unfazed.

"That's no trouble; I've got plenty on me. Go on, we'll even let you choose the film!"

Tessa couldn't help it. She'd promised herself she would make friends, and she couldn't do that seeing them only during class. "Oh, alright then." She replied, worrying even as she did so whether she would regret the decision. Will stalked off, muttering and leaving Tessa feeling worse than ever, but Jem just smiled and told her "don't mind him. He's just unsociable, but his heart's in the right place." As they followed after him, she couldn't stop herself wondering if he had any heart at all.


	5. Chapter 5

As they neared the pictures, Tessa saw a group of three wave at them and realised they were being joined by friends of Will and Jem's. She felt nervous to meet more people, and s=thought she'd now likely be an outsider. As they approached, she noted the boy with ginger hair and a distant smile had his arm around the girl with the severe bun, and the other girl had long, blonde hair and was the most beautiful person Tessa thought she had ever seen.

"Tessa," said Jem, "these are our friends Charlotte, Henry" gesturing to the two Tessa supposed were a couple, "and Jessamine". Charlotte and Henry smiled at her, but the girl called Jessamine glared with so much venom Tessa was thought it was incredible that she had only just met her.

"What are we watching?" asked Will, piping up for the first time. Tessa noticed as he did so that Jessamine stared intently at his face even after he was finished speaking. She wondered if she liked Will as more than a friend. The thought made her uncomfortable, what with the girl's looks.

"Charlotte wanted to see some horror 'The Conjuring'?" piped in Henry.

"Oh of course she would." Spat Jessamine bitterly –Tessa was shocked to see such sour words come out of such an attractive being. "It always has to be action, or- or murder. We can never just see something funny." Although Tessa secretly agreed with her that a comedy would be preferable, she found the idea of Jessamine letting go enough to laugh quite ridiculous.

"All those in favour of The Conjuring say aye" decided Jem fairly.

"Aye." said Will, Henry, Charlotte and Tessa, surprising herself.

Will and Jem stared at her until she felt the need to say "What? I've never seen a horror movie before."

Will laughed, Jem shrugged and Jessamine said "You're from _America?_" As though she was saying 'You're from the _sewers?_"

"Uh, yeah" replied Tessa, not knowing how else to answer

"New York." Will said "You've always wanted to go, haven't you Jessie?"

"Ugh, no." declared Jessamine. "All that's there is people who've failed in their passion and think they can change their stars by trying in a new city. It's unpleasant and loud and-"

"Maybe we should get inside; the film will be starting in a minute." Jem cut in. Tessa gave him a grateful smile, and they stepped inside the building.

As they queued up, she felt a breath on her neck, and turned her head to find herself lost in those blue eyes she had certainly not just been thinking about. "Sorry about Jessamine." He murmured. "She's rather sour to start with, but she'll come around." reminding Tessa of how Jem had described Will earlier on.

"That's alright, it's just- why does she hate me so much?"

Will laughed softly – it was a wonderful sound. "She doesn't hate you. She's just threatened. She's used to being the object of every boy's attention, with Charlotte being in a relationship especially, so now you've come along, she's jealous. Plus she is always going on about New York and how she's going to go one day and make it as an actress."

Tessa immediately felt pity replacing the dislike she'd felt for Jessamine. " She feels threatened..." she mumbled to herself, struggling to comprehend. "But how can that be, she's so beautiful..."

"Not like you are." Will said so softly that she wasn't sure she'd heard properly, looking her straight in the eye and sending shivers down her spine. Tessa simply stared at him for too long until the man behind the desk said "next" and she had to draw her attention back to her money problem.

"Six tickets to 'The Conjuring, please" said Will, surprising her yet further when he paid for Tessa's without comment.

"I, uh- thank you. I'll pay you back-" Tessa attempted meekly, knowing entirely she wouldn't be able to. Thankfully, he interrupted.

"Don't worry about it." He said, in that voice, the one that had called her beautiful, and at that he turned away to say something to Henry.

"So, horror?" she heard Jem say next to her and turned to smile at him.

"I'm in a new city and I shall be trying all new things." She told him, before opening the door to the correct screen and holding it open for them all, the friend group she was on the border of being allowed in to. Will didn't look at her as he passed, but Jessamine certainly did. "Don't even bother with Will." She hissed, "He'll only break your heart." And she stalked off into the room, leaving Tessa more confused than ever.

The movie was terrifying, distracting Tessa completely from her befuddled thoughts about Jessamine's words and Will's. There was no way she'd be sleeping soundly that night. When the movie was over, Charlotte, Henry and Jessamine went off their separate way, Charlotte and Henry telling her how nice it was to meet her while Jessamine simply ignored her. When they were gone, Tessa fell into easy step between the boys, who insisted on walking her home before they went on to the pub. Or at least, Jem insisted. But that didn't matter. She'd said she had to get home to read a play for class tomorrow, earning another sidelong look from Will. Damn, she had very stupidly forgotten that he knew exactly what was due for class tomorrow – nothing. Still, it was too late to back out now. "Maybe another night" she'd mumbled, blushing to the roots of her hair at being caught lying, and soon the conversation topic had changed and she was quite at ease again. Not wanting the boys to see where she lived, she stopped a few streets away from her house in a slightly less run-down area that still left them looking around uncomfortably, from where she knew her way home. Jem wished her good luck with the play and went to peer at a street sign to make out as to whether it said 'Clare Street', 'Dare Street', or something else entirely. Will shifted uncomfortably on the balls of his feet, not meeting Tessa's eyes.

"Thank you for paying for my ticket" she said gently.

He looked up and their eyes met in silent communication.

"It's no problem. It's only-" he paused, biting his lip. God, he was sexy. "Well I was watching you at lunch and you had your purse to buy a sandwich, and I'm not being funny but I don't want you to feel you have to lie to me" Oh god, Tessa thought. She couldn't be honest could she?! He'd think entirely differently of her; they all would. "And I know there's no play to be read for tomorrow, and I just wish you'd tell me the truth; I want us to be-" but Tessa didn't find out what he wanted them to be, for at that moment Jem returned, declaring delightedly "Bane Street!"

Blushing furiously, Tessa thanked them for walking her home and marched off down Bane street, managing to refrain from breaking into a run until she turned the corner.


	6. Chapter 6

Tessa eased the door open, head full of Will. But his face was immediately replaced. Nate was standing directly in front of her, with a stormy expression on his face. "Where have you been." He didn't even say it like a question, but Tessa knew she must answer. "I- I made some friends, and they wanted me to go with them after college, so I... I did. And then I stayed longer than I meant to. I'm sorry." Tessa garbled. "So, let me get this straight. I work all day to support you even though you're old enough to get a job instead of learning about fucking stories, and then I come home and have to wait for over an hour to get any damn thing to eat?" Tessa felt awful at this; she'd had no idea but that must be how he truly felt about her further education. "Nate, you're drunk. I'm sorry but I want to make friends. I'm sure you had a terrible day, and-" "Actually, I had a great day. Not that you'd even bother asking, but Mortmain spoke to me personally. He apologised for the low standards he's been setting me, and he says he knew dad and-" Tessa zoned out, confused. How could her father have known this lowly 'businessman'? She had heard Nate rant on and on about what a terrible human being this man was, and yet the father she idolised had associated with him?! "And I'm getting a promotion." Nate finished smugly. "Oh, uh, congratulations..." began Tessa, but Nate wasn't done with her. He was right up close now, breathing into her face. She could smell the liquor. "So next time you want to go gallivanting off with strangers, maybe consider the brother who's done nothing but look out for you all your life. You're desperate to run off and seek attention from everyone aren't you?! Even Aunt Harriet made it obvious you were her favourite. Bitter twisted old woman. You know I always defended you when I heard people calling you names. Terrified of the world, they said you were. And I argued your case. And now I see I was right – you were just an attention-seeking little slut all along." He turned to go and Tessa let out a small whimper, appalled at how far he'd gone. That made Nate snap. He flew around and smacked her across the face, sending Tessa crashing to the floor. As she lay in her bed that night, clutching her throbbing cheek, Tessa's mind wandered back to Will. She flushed as she recalled the way he had called her out on the lies she had told her new friends. She wished she could be up-front with them but wanted to fit in as one of the crowd too badly. She would just have to be more careful, thinking up excuses entirely separate from everything that could be connected with any of them. She thought of the bitter Jessamine, and how she must have dated Will at one point. The thought of them together – and of course her being perfectly able to afford any outing or object that took their fancy – made Tessa cringe internally so much so that she had to force herself to stop thinking about it. Instead she ignored all bad parts of the day and simply focussed on Will's shiver-inducing words from earlier. She couldn't believe he'd thought her beautiful. She, with plain brown hair; plain grey eyes, as compared to his gorgeous smile, dark wavy locks and, of course, those eyes. It suddenly occurred to her that she was fast becoming completely infatuated with this mysterious boy she had only met that day, and vowed to get to know him better before she drew any solid conclusions. Not that she could be wrong about him; he had a beautiful personality. Her mind wandered to Jem, his chivalrous friendliness. She had liked Charlotte and Henry, too. Perhaps with the exception of Jessamine, Tessa was delighted to have found such a welcoming and good group of people to be around in so little time. Nate's snores coming from the next room soon pulled the big grin that had been spreading across her face right off. She couldn't deny the guilt she felt at not being there for him when he got home – he was right, he was working so hard to support them both and all Tessa had done was throw it back in his face by going off on her own without even letting him know. On the other hand, she couldn't see a way to truly become part of this group without seeing them outside of college. Will was the only one to attend with her and she only wanted a normal friend group; a normal lifestyle. But Nate's anger problem was preventing her from doing just that, not that she could blame him. She heaved an exaggerated sigh to herself in the darkness. Why couldn't she have a simple life? Abruptly, she decided that all this worrying and over-thinking was doing her no good at all, and attempted to clear her mind. If she got some sleep, everything would be better by morning. She just hoped her cheek wouldn't bruise. 


	7. Chapter 7

Tessa awoke groggily, and for a moment could not grasp hold of any solid fact. Slowly, she recognised the small room as the apartment she shared with her brother since they moved to London together. She blinked. Her cheek pulsed, reminding her of Nate's rage from the night before. This set off a chain reaction and she pieced together the events of the previous day, gradually processing the information. Somehow she felt doubly nervous for the day to come as she had the previous one. She was in plenty of time this morning, but had no desire to wake her brother and face his unpredictable mood whether he'd be still seething with her or tripping over himself to apologise. Tessa noted that her purpling cheek would not help the likelihood of the latter as she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. She dug out some makeup she'd bought on a whim when she was younger, but didn't really match her skin tone. Well, she thought, orange was better than purple. She took more time in making her plait neater today, and put on her favourite shirt. Then she hurried to finish getting ready, partly to get out of the door before Nate awoke and partly on the chance of getting to talk to Will before class began.

As it turned out she well needed all the time she'd allowed herself as, though taking the back roads with Jem had saved her crucial time in getting to class the previous day, she had no hope of retracing those steps what with her abysmal sense of direction, and could only attempt to follow in a vaguely similar direction until, mercifully, she happened upon her destination. Entering the room, she did a quick scan for the dark messy hair whose owner she was burning to spend time with. Deciding he had not yet arrived, Tessa found an empty chair and quickly got her things sorted for the class, mind only half on the task. She very nearly jumped out of her skin as a voice came from directly behind her, mumbling into her ear "someone's a little less bedraggled today". Tessa's lips turned up without her permission and she turned to stare into the face which had dominated her dreams the previous night. "Will-" she began, but was distracted as her own name was caressed on his lips. "Tessa." He gave her a gentle smirk, seeming thrilled to have thrown her off, and as she struggled to regain her train of thought, she thought what a pathetic person she was that she could be utterly unbalanced simply by an attractive boy. But then, she mused, he deserved more than merely 'attractive'. Godly was a more apt label. "I'm sorry I lied to you yesterday. I had to get home because my grandma isn't well. I didn't want to put a downer on things so I thought coursework would invoke less of a down spiriting mood." The lie tripped off Tessa's tongue in a hurry – deception wasn't her forte. "And the um, money thing..." This was more difficult. After much turning it over in her head, she had eventually opted to go for half the truth, based on the instinct that she could trust Will not to judge her. "My brother and I are a bit strapped for cash, just at the moment, because of the move – and how I'm well, here. Universities are expensive, you know? And I'm sure he'll totally work his way up in the business, but everybody has t start somewhere, and-"

"Tessa."

Tessa looked reluctantly up into the face she had been avoiding during her ramble, ready for a confused or even resentment, but instead faced a gentle, intense stare.

"You don't have to be embarrassed about things like that with me. Ever. Even the rest of the group wouldn't dream of judging you on something so petty, though I understand if you'd rather not tell them. But I'd really like for you to feel you can confide in me. So just calm down, okay? Please don't feel ashamed."

Tessa gulped. "Will, thank you. I just felt that with having only met you all the same day, I didn't want to dump all my problems on you, but I..." She trailed off, unable to express her gratitude.

"Hey, you can always dump your problems on me, no matter how depressing." He smiled that beautiful smile at her, and squeezed her hand. Tessa smiled back, and for a moment couldn't tear her gaze away from his.

"Alright, settle down!" called Mrs Rogers, effectively putting an end to their intense moment. Tessa tried to pull her mind to the lecture, but she was constantly very aware of the boy in the seat right behind her, who she now knew was the gentlest, kindest soul she'd ever met, underneath his cocky facade. When he was leaning forward to concentrate, Tessa could feel his breath on her neck, and could not clear her head despite repeated attempts to blink away fantasies of him spinning her around abruptly in her seat and kissing her deeply in an I-can't-possibly-delay-another-moment kind of way. When he raised his hand to ask a question, she almost ended herself, having just been imagining that same voice whispering to her how beautiful she was.

When the class ended, she hurried to pack her stuff up, anxious to spend more time with Will before their next lecture. He smiled at her and they made their way across campus together, chatting easily. Tessa felt suddenly so much more at ease with him now that her secrets were somewhat more out in the open. As they made their way through that day, Tessa and Will laughed and chatted and got to know one another and found ever more similarities between them, particularly where literature was concerned. At the end of the day Will said that the gang and he were going to Jessamine's to hang out for a bit and Tessa was welcome to come, but she wanted to have plenty of tie at home to prepare for Nate's return, so he would forgive her for the previous evening. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then?" Will asked, with a disappointed twinge that made Tessa's heart flutter.

"Absolutely." She replied, unable to stop the shy smile on her mouth. There was an awkward moment when it seemed neither of them knew whether or not to consolidate the parting in some way other than verbally, but then Will simply tilted his imaginary hat and turned away, strolling twenty paces or so and then turning slightly, his body suddenly buckled with laughter. Tessa frowned slightly, wondering what could be suddenly so funny, then realised with mortification that it was because she was still standing there, gaping after him, upon claiming she had to rush home for a sick granny. She cursed under her breath and ran all the way home.


	8. Chapter 8

Tessa slaved away that night to make the place and meal presentable for Nate's return. However, she needn't have bothered. After two hours sitting at the table watching what had been a decent meal go cold, she gave up and went to read in her room. Another hour went by and she couldn't stop herself eating a small portion of the dish. Without anything to preoccupy her mind she opted for an early night, knowing fully that she wouldn't be able to sleep until Nate was safely home. The hours ticked by, and Tessa became more and more anxious. At around three in the morning, a loud crash startled her from a half-slumber, and she peeked out of her door to see Nate stumbling around the kitchen. The light flickered on and her brother noticed the sliver of fretful expression peering at him. "What are you still doing up, Tessie?! You have class in like six hours or whatever. Go sleep. Get to your fucking bed right now." He shepherded Tessa back into her room and she lay down in her bed, allowing herself to be drunkenly tucked into the covers. "Where were you Nate? I- was worried." "Oh Tessie, you're always fussing. I was just with some mates, is that okay?! You don't have to make such a big deal about everything. Christ I earn the ONLY money here, I should be allowed to piss away a few fucking quid of it." He was yelling now, saliva flying into Tessa's face. "Don't have to be so overprotective of me Tessie, I'm all grown up now." She nodded furiously, and then lay still and did her best to steady her breathing. Nate sat down on the edge of her bed and began stroking her hair, like he used to when they were kids. "I'll look after you Tessie. I'll look after US. We'll make it work, you'll see. I'll support you if you want to spend your days talking about stories." He gave an awful laugh with no humour in it, and Tessa felt obligated to say something, anything to calm him down again. "I know Nate; I really do appreciate everything you do. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem that way sometimes, I just wanted to make some friends, I didn't want to make you angry-" Nate tensed at the memory of the previous night, hand tightening unconsciously on her neck. "Ow – Nate, you're hurting me. Nate!" He leaned his face towards hers. Somehow she had done the opposite in her intentions to mollify his rage. "Who were you with, huh? What gives you the right to criticise me for staying out when you did it FUCKING YESTERDAY?! Jesus, sometimes I forget how fucking self-centred you are." Tessa was thoroughly wracked with sobs now, because of his words but mainly because of the way he was contorting her neck. She gratefully gulped in the sudden air as he let her go and stormed out of her room. "Maybe you ought to think about your actions and their implications on others before the next time you go off whoring at night." He hissed before slamming the door. Tessa hardly slept that night. She went from being upset at Nate for blaming her; hurting her, to simply feeling a guilt so complete there was room for nothing else inside her. The next morning Tessa had to apply double the amount of makeup, part on her neck and the fresh bruising there, and some onto the already yellowing mark on her cheek. On the way to college, she bumped into Jem again, who surprised her with his friendliness. She'd all but forgotten him in her infatuation with Will. "Tessa! Hi – let me walk you to uni again." She smiled at him and they fell into easy chat as they wandered the streets. Tessa liked how effortless it was to talk to him; nothing like the fluster she got herself into around Will. Thinking about him brought a smile to her face, and she steered the conversation towards him, desperate for more information. "So what's with Will and Jessamine, I mean – did they used to go out or something?" Jem paled. "Oh, um. When we first met Jessamine, she had this insane crush on Will. He didn't catch on for ages, and then eventually they dated, but it, er, didn't end well." He looked at his feet, and Tessa got the feeling that wasn't the whole story. Tessa didn't know how to respond to that, and Jem jumped on the opportunity to hastily move on to another topic. "So – er, how are you enjoying the course so far?" he asked. "Oh it's actually great. Not really what I thought it would be, but I'm loving it. And the syllabus texts are nearly all something I would never read on my own, but am so glad I did." Conversation passed comfortably between them until they reached the campus, and Tessa again remembered her enthusiasm for seeing Will, and began to excuse herself, but Jem, seeing she was still early for class, offered to come with her to see his friend. So they headed off together towards the square in the centre of the main buildings, Jem sure that would be where Will killed time before lectures. Sure enough, he was there, spread out atop a picnic table, book in hand. As they approached, Will bounced up eagerly, silencing their attempts at a greeting and clearing his throat. "Sssshh, listen to this. 'Everything is at an end, and that's all,' said Dolly. 'And the worst of it is, you understand, that I can't leave him: there are the children, and I am bound. Yet I can't live with him; it is torture for me to see him '" There was a pause before Tessa murmured "Anna Karenina" Will looked up in surprise, his features spreading into a grin. Then he turned to Jem, and his face dropped. "Oh" he said. "Er, I'm-" "Don't." Cut in Jem firmly. Tessa was bewildered. Did Jem have something against the novel? Before she knew what was happening, the two boys were striding off to some secret chat just inside the nearest building, apparently having decided by a kind of telepathy, as neither had uttered a word. At that, the bell for class rang, and as the door which the boys had disappeared to opened again, Will emerged, without Jem this time, and brushed off her insistent questions by reiterating that they needed to get across campus or Mrs Rogers would strangle her with that staple paisley scarf of hers for being late the second time in a week.


End file.
